#6881 diamond ring

Traditionally, the central jewel in a woman's collection is her engagement ring. For some women, it is the only serious piece of jewelry she owns. 
Let's look at why this piece of jewelry has achieved the ultimate status and why it's so important still.

Long ago, marriage was more about cementing bonds and contracts between families than about any sentiments or romance.  Amongst wealthy families and aristocrats, the to-be-married couple often never even met prior to their wedding day. Sometimes not even on their wedding day as marriages could even be conducted by proxies.  It was all about aligning powers and ensuring heirs. Betrothal tokens were given. A young lady, growing up in a castle in mid or eastern Europe might sent a miniature portrait of herself to a prospective husband in the west. He might return the favor with a jewel containing a lock of his hair. 
Amongst all classes who could afford it, lovers might give the gift of a ring. The circular shape symbolized eternal love; the ring might even be engraved with a romantic message such as those found in poesy rings. 
Betrothal rings in iron and other metal were given by the ancient Romans, but engagement rings as we know them only began to emerge in the 1800's. This is not to say that jeweled gifts were not exchanged. they were, but not necessarily in the format we are familiar with.

While 'engagement rings' were gifted during the 1800's, the form of engagement ring and the traditions around them emerged in the 20th century. An urban myth is that De Beers created the trend of the solitaire diamond.  However, many engagement rings were exchanged long before the 'diamonds are forever' slogan became a popularly held dogma. 
#7513   very rare Asscher cut diamond solitaire

Slowly, we are unravelling the myth that engagement rings are composed of a central stone, raised high about the finger, alone or possibly with a few smaller supporters on either side. Additionally, we have finally realized that engagement rings do not need to contain diamonds at all. Any stone will do - provided it is what you want and can withstand daily wear and tear. 

What stones should be use in an engagement ring? 
When my daughter got engaged, I offered her the pick of any ring in my collection. She chose a pretty traditional solitaire design with matching wedding band, but the stone was a bright, deep red ruby. Turns out that lots of people are making their own choices to suit their own taste. That's how it should be (in my opinion). One caveat: if you are going to wear your engagement ring every day, consider whether the gem is sturdy and strong enough to resist everyday wear and tear. Some stones are more prone to damage than others (like emeralds) and of course, pearls, so beautiful in their iridescence will not withstand washing the dishes, gardening or the gym. 
Sapphires make a great choice for engagement rings as they are extremely strong and resistant to damage (only less so than diamonds). 

#7641  unique Georgian sapphire and diamond ring
#7636     Art Deco sapphire and diamonds

Can an engagement ring have a design different from the classic solitaire? 
Famously, Napoleon gave Josephine a simple crossover ring (with a sapphire and a diamond) upon their betrothal in 1796. The French call this design Toi Et Moi, meaning 'you and me'.  What could be more symbolic of two souls uniting than this concept? 
Prince Albert gave Queen Victoria a snake, set with an emerald as an engagement ring. Clearly, she didn't do the dishes. The snake is another symbol of eternal love and makes a great romantic gesture. 
Their are as many variations/designs of the engagement ring as their are people with differing taste. Don't chase the herd. Make a choice that suits yourself and will bring you pleasure for many years to come.
My unconventional son gave his soon-to-be-wife an antique diamond toi et moi, crossover ring, but since she is a huge fan, he gave her a spare in the form of a Disney design. 
#7542 gem crossover ring

Can you change your engagement ring for a new one or new design?
I believe that almost every woman in my mother's generation had her original engagement ring either replaced or re-designed or both. My own mum had a very simple setting, that I liked a lot. She later had the diamond exchanged for something more 'bombastic', while the old mount was worn with a simple gem replacement. My granny left me her ring. It was one of those designs made to stand up and out. I changed it and have enjoyed it more than any other piece of jewelry I own, not least because it is a permanent reminder of a great woman. 

Antique vs modern engagement rings. 
Engagement rings are not supposed to be status symbols (which of course for most people, they are). They are supposed to symbolize the eternal love and romance of the marrying couple. They represent commitment, unity, and the beginning of a shared future. For many people, a ring with character, with history and with the unrivalled craftsmanship of the antique will always be superior to something churned out by a mega-manufacturer. An antique engagement ring is something that cannot be replicated - it is a symbol of unique you and yours.

Antique rings from every era make great engagement rings. Think of the history and stories that come with your Georgian ring? The strength of design with Art Deco? So much to choose from.

#7625   Georgian engagement ring
How many months' salary should an engagement ring cost? The diamond industry fabricated a theory that an engagement ring should represent at least 3 months' salary. Talk about disinformation!! You and your spouse should only spend what you are comfortable spending. There is plenty of time later on in life to upgrade if necessary. Having said that, from my experience, a good, antique ring will probably go up in value, so it's not a bad investment to start married life with.

The above discussion refers mainly to Europe and the 'Western World'. Asia and Latin America have their own traditions, although slowly our Western values about engagement rings has encroached on their cultures as well. Today, every Chinese woman dreams of a .30ct diamond ring. That's a lot of 1/3 carats. Just as we are moving away from preconceived notions, other cultures are moving towards them. 

Let you engagement ring speak for you. Let it tell the story of your personality, style and values both in the decades through your marriage and for generations to come. 

#7497 fabuuulouss ruby and diamond engagement ring

Questions and comments: Please email antiques@brendaginsberg.com
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There will be more posts on engagement jewelry for him and for her, wedding and bridal jewelry. Keep reading.